Well it’s nearly crimbo and the break couldn’t come quick enough, I literally feel like I am running on added time. I am, for want of a better phrase, so over 2011. Although the year has been exciting with new agent and exotic work placement it has been slow and a little disappointing.
I think I just got far too excited and complacent about what was going to happen. I though this year would be the year when I could finally throw in the day job. Which right now I think has the potential to send me loopy, the point when I might actually hurt someone – to be more specific my boss.
I felt I had served my time, put in the hard graft to make me worthy of a career but alas it would appear that I am not there yet. I have not really got an outlet to vent either at the moment. It seems like some people’s patience has run out with regard to listening so I am forced to pour out my frustrations on here. I would go and see someone but that requires money, which requires work and these are two things I don’t have right now. To clarify the office job doesn’t count as work, it’s more a form of torture.
Anyway.. I have an exciting audition coming up for another HBO show. Not one I have auditioned for before, and honestly not one that I thought I ever would but I LOVE the programme, and although I don’t think I am right for the character it’s still an opportunity to be seen by them which is amazing. It would mean 9 months filming in New York so pretty much all of next year in work and out of the country. I cannot explain to you how perfect that would be, however I know this role is not for me but they could potentially see me for something else so fingers crossed.
I am still waiting to hear back on the film audition I had a few weeks ago which has had some cast announcements already and its much bigger than I thought it was. The names attached mean this would have a huge cinema release so would be a big break for me. My agent is still optimistic but I can’t help but think I would know by now if it was good news.
So as you can tell I am not feeling too positive right now. But I think that’s ok. I am allowed to feel like this every now and again. This is a hard profession, the term emotional roller-coaster is never more apt when it comes to acting. The problem comes when you try to repress it and then it all builds up and comes out in one almighty explosion and that’s not something I want to experience thank you very much.
I am looking forward to a Christmas break of eating and drinking too much, being with loved ones and most importantly presents!! No just kidding… I won’t eat too much, I’m an actress after all and we’re not allowed to do that.
So I have an audition coming up next week for the potential of spending a couple of weeks in New York meeting industry people and showcasing work at a top theatre venue. I am extremely excited and 100% want to go. I have to choose two contrasting monologues and this is where I am ill prepared.
I can’t stress how important it is to have monologues ready at your disposal. You should always have a modern piece and classical piece but it’s also nice to have a variety of genres so you can be fully equipped for any sort of performance. It is also vital that you read the play the monologue is from. I can almost guarantee that you will be asked about the play and ultimately why you choose that particular monologue.
Each time I have had to prepare a monologue I have the same moment of panic when I trawl through the internet, audition books and look for something fitting. So here I am once again, slightly panicked and annoyed at myself that during my “resting” period I wasn’t productive and chosen some. It’s not too bad as I have read 100s of plays so there will be some that will work I just have to remind myself. The dilemma I have is what to go for. I would like to go for a dramatic piece and comedic piece but should I stick to the old formula of modern and classical? I can always make one of them comedic and one straight… I have little over a week to research, choose and learn the monologues and nail them. Its fine I have enough time I just wish I had some at my disposal already. But this time I have learnt my lesson I am going to get a collection together – do a bit of a Monica – and have several entries. Comedic, dramatic, modern, classical etc etc.
I have been to the theatre quite a lot lately which is always goods, inspires you to create more and be productive even when you’re waiting for the next gig. All the auditions I have had so far have gone really really well but alas at the moment to no avail. I think because they all went so well I kind of told myself that I was going to get a yes any day so chilled a bit. You can never ever sit back, you have to be constantly researching and practising so you can always be one step ahead, for such eventualities as this current audition. This was a programme I applied to ages ago and had completely forgotten about, and at the time I thought it was a long shot anyway. It’s funny it always seems to be the ones you don’t expect that come through. Whether it’s a bad audition or a job which you feel doesn’t fit you always seem to be surprised.
Well once again I have something to focus on and direct my energy towards, but I must keep the drive going and once this is over strive towards something else rather than just waiting for another audition. I think I am going to set myself the target of reading a certain amount of plays a month at least. This way when the audition is over and the pressure has subsided I won’t be left with nothing and the feeling of being flat and without direction. Mmm, what to read first?