Tag Archives: LA

Go on holiday now, there is nothing going on anyway….

I have had quite a good few weeks, it seems the jobs and auditions have suddenly flooded in.

I was up in the north of the country for a couple of days last week, filming a short scene on a kids show. This was a favour really to the producer as I have worked with him before. I got the impression someone had dropped out or was no longer available at the last-minute and they needed someone quickly. It was definitely done for the money. I did find it hard though. It felt like a step backwards. I couldn’t help but think “what am I doing here” and when some of the crew and cast asked whether I had worked for HBO before I was tempted to lie. I couldn’t have of course as they clearly knew I had otherwise why ask? But from their responses I knew they were also thinking “why are you doing this” But you know it’s Christmas there are parties to go to and presents to buy and I need the cash.

On Monday I got asked to attend a script reading. It was for quite a big American show and often when it comes to read through’s the cast don’t attend. They already have the part and it can be too time consuming so they ask actors to fill in and read on their behalf. This is a good opportunity to meet producers and directors etc. and can also be like an audition for any parts that haven’t been cast. And it is also paid so again a nice little bit of spending money before crimbo.

I have also had some exciting auditions. Mainly for a feature film, shooting for three months Jan to Feb in a nice part of England. It’s a big project and the part I went for is small enough for a relatively unknown like myself to play but also big enough to be remembered for. So it would be perfect. There is some nudity in it but compared to what I did for HBO its nothing!! The first audition went really well, the casting director clearly liked me and I was certain I would be called back. I was and this time it was with the director. Alas this did not go as well. It wasn’t that I did anything any different it would just appear that the CD liked what I was doing more than the director. It has been nearly two weeks now and I still haven’t heard. However as it is a recall we will hear either way, so I suspect that it’s a case of the CD trying to convince the director I am right. It’s so difficult not to get your hopes up, as I have said many times before, but the longer the wait the less hopeful I become. Who knows, fingers crossed.

I would usually say it will be quiet now on the lead up to crimbo but it seems I have been busier lately than I have all year so will not jinx it by saying too much. Perhaps all the “young” actresses out there have already headed off to start their festivities, either way let the good times roll!


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Wish I had never asked

So September has been and gone and I seem to have completely forgotten to tell you about it! I think the sudden dramatic weather change threw me off a little and I forgot there was something besides sunbathing that I was supposed to be doing! So as the hot weather is now, I should think, definitely over, so is my hiatus.

Well, honestly it’s been quiet. I had some ADR to do at the start of the month for the program I did in June. That’s always painful, having to dub yourself not only in time but in the right tone and level to the rest of the scene is always a challenge. Thankfully it was one line, and for the amount they paid me I really shouldn’t complain about it.  

I also had a little reunion with the cast which was really nice. You form such a close friendship when you’re on set and working in what is ultimately a different world for a while but so often when the job is done so are the friendships. Don’t think this is going to be the case with these guys, at least I hope not. I actually just received an email from one of the girls who is now a regular on a popular show and has told me about a guest part which is coming up which she thinks I would be right for.  So I have emailed the old agent to see if we can get in there early.

I don’t think there is ever anything wrong with chasing your agent, no matter how big they are. Sometimes people seem hesitant to do this but I always think it’s a mistake. I popped in to see mine last week for a chat and it always makes me feel better afterwards. I have only had one job this year and as this agent is new I worried, but she put my fears at rest, we spoke about future stuff and I left a lot more positive than when I arrived!

I had an audition at the end of the month (like I said it’s been quiet) for a new movie with a top director and stellar cast and it was for a decent role. Was really excited about this, it’s with a casting director who is really good to me, always gets me in when I could fit the bill. Before I went in I chatted to the assistant a little bit. I have known them for quite some time now so it’s like catching up with a friend really. I made the error of enquiring about a role that I have been hoping for for a while, thinking there was still a chance I may get it and found out it was cast! This knocked me, not because I was certain I was going to get it but more because I was excited about the possibility. It’s always easier to keep going if there could be something on the horizon and this was my something. Then I had to go in and do my audition and I lost it. The energy dropped and I pretty much sucked. The CD was lovely as ever and I had several go’s and was told at the end that it was good but I knew it wasn’t…

I have some filming to do at the weekend for a short film which will take me out of the country for a few days which is nice but at the moment truly I am struggling to stay positive. It’s not that I would consider giving up, there is nothing I would rather do so it’s not an option really I just wish I didn’t want to do it. That is where I am at the moment, wishing I had stuck with my plan at 4 to “look after animals”… it may have been more exams and training but at least I would probably “be there” by now! Lots of programmes are coming out that I wanted or went for and that’s always tough and it’s just all a bit rough at the moment. But there are things on the horizons, it’s not all doom and gloom but like the weather, it really could be better!

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Must. Stay. Calm

It’s been a long week to say the least. I am waiting to hear back from the TV audition and it’s killing me! I’m not usually this impatient, you get used to the waiting, you have to, but I just can’t seem to get this gig out of my mind. I even dreamt about it the other night, it’s literally driving me mental. I have also made the error of telling people.

When you are asked constantly by what seems like everyone what you are “working on” at the moment, it always feels crap to say nothing. So I usually say I’m waiting to hear back from several great auditions, so fingers crossed. And that’s enough. But this time I have told them all about this gig. So now I am constantly reminded of my early confidence and excitement which seems to be diminishing by the day.

I had some other news regarding the trailer I did for the new horror flick filming this year. The girl in it with me who was the lead has been replaced by an American actress who is well-known over the waters. This is great in terms of the movie, they are getting the financial backing and it’s obviously going to be a big release, but very disappointing for the other actress. She was great and became a good friend. But she was realistic about it from the beginning; she had the lead role so it was always likely to go to someone who would pull in the audience.

I contacted the producers about my role and at the moment it would appear I am safe. I don’t have a large part, although it is a nice character, so wouldn’t necessarily need to be a big name. I am not completely unknown in America so I am still in with a chance. This would be a big deal for me. The film is going for worldwide release in all cinemas and the script is really good so I am certain it would be a hit. But this is another thing where I mustn’t get carried away and try to forget about it.

With all these “maybe’s” going on it is hard not to get swept up with it all. I can’t help but feel like I am at the turning point, that this year, any moment now, it’s all going to come together. As exciting as it is, it’s also terrifying. What if nothing comes through? If all the auditions I’m waiting to hear back on come to nothing? Do I have the strength to start over again with new hopes? I think so, I have to, but jeeze it seems to be getting harder by the day.

I have a meeting with the agent on Friday to discuss my progress and basically have a catch up which is good and either way by then I will know about the TV job, so we can go from there with what’s next. Fingers crossed it’ll be something well paid, glamorous and hot!

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We’re pleased to tell you the bad news

Not a great deal of news. The theatre audition which caused much dread and endless nights of doing Shakespeare in front of the mirror was a no. Well I never actually heard a no I just received an email telling me the “exciting” news of the winners! Me not being one of them. I guess that’s a more positive spin on receiving just a no….

The TV audition went well, as they always seem to. I turned up with a fairly small bit of dialogue prepared and the casting director said he was desperate to get me involved so gave me some more to read. Not as desperate as me I thought!

I had my appraisal at my day job and received a letter saying they were “pleased” to tell me my salary was staying the same. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a positive spin or rather a typo; either way it did not bring any happiness. When I was asked what my goals were for next year I thought, Hollywood, LA, Broadway, west end, any thing that’s not here, but when I opened my mouth I said to learn more and progress my way up the company. Best bit of acting I did all week.

So the blues kicked in. No pay rise, no acting jobs and a lack of auditions I was ready to head home and wallow. Then I got an invite to a screening of a horror promo I shot last year and it was brilliant. The event had no red carpet but we (the “stars” of the flick) were treated as if there was. The promo looked great, I had to do an American accent and it was the first time I had heard myself on-screen and I was convinced. There were a couple of words here and there that may have given away my true nationality but nothing a voice coach couldn’t correct. We had the usual after screening drinks and natter and I managed to “work the room” quite well. The exec producer was there and by the end of the night I think I had well and truly ingrained myself into his memory so hopefully when the money comes through to make the feature he will take me with it!

I have another theatre audition coming up at the weekend with quite an interesting script so that could be promising.  I do think as we are now approaching April it’s really time I got something. I will be hitting Cannes this year and plan to make the most of that venture. Mainly sunning during the day and “networking” in the evening…. I know, it can be tough.

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Surround yourself with success and hopefully you’ll get some!

The headshots have been done and….. they’re not great. Well I thought they were ok but knew that they needed to be more than ok and I needed to have more than just a handful to choose from. So I showed them to my boyfriend who said he didn’t really love any but preferred the ones when I was serious. I then showed them to my dad who said he didn’t really love any but preferred the ones when I was smiling. So that was great. I spoke to mum too but mainly because I knew she would say she loved them all, god bless her. So I am sending them off to the agent to see what she thinks. Although I can pretty much assume that I will be writing another cheque to someone else by the end of the month, sigh. I really hate the whole headshot thing, they’re so subjective, who can tell what’s best? Should the shots be saying something about your personality? Saying what type of person you are and what you might be like to work with? Should they be a blank canvas to show that you could adapt to any role? Or should they focus on your cast type and say “this is the type of character I play well”? Who knows. You can guarantee though what one person will love another will hate.

So after a fairly flat afternoon on Friday I decided to head into Soho and cheer myself up with a drink or three. Ended up being a rather fab night, which is surprising for Soho. It’s not my favourite place to be honest, but I always seem to end up there, largely due to the fact that my boyf works smack bang in the middle of it. I saw a celeb – I guess you could say he is fairly up there, not A list but def B list. Although I think that’s just England, not sure if he has hit it state side yet. Anyway, after a few drinks I knew I had to get a picy with him, not just for me but for one of my closest friends who loves all that stuff! Anyway, as I totter over it turns out he is chatting to a good friend of mine and I notice just in time to make it look like I was going over to see him and it was just a coincidence that this “celeb” was there. I ended up getting opinions on my headshots and giving him some career advice!! He used to be a singer and is now branching into acting. It was great, I kinda left feeling like the “celeb” myself as this star said he loved the stuff I was in and would be grateful of any tips I could give him. Brilliant. Then I set off to meet my brother and his girlfriend who are both on fire at the moment. He has just got a promotion and a pay rise and he’s lovely girlfriend has not only been promoted but now has her own assistant!!! I mean that’s pretty good going, what a power couple. I wanted the night to go on longer than everyone else did though and after pleading with literally everyone to stay out I had to admit defeat and head home.

I had a good weekend, I went to the theatre to watch the company I worked with last year, new show. It was interesting, the acting was great and the direction was tight but the story kinda lost me. It was ambitious, the play was adapted from five plays into one, and I think it may have been a case of three plays too many. But it was a nice night with the actors after; they were all willing to chat about the show and share opinions. It was press night when we went and I happened to sit next to the woman who had slated our play last year. I didn’t know until after and I think that was probably for the best. Thankfully there was no yawning or fidgeting on my part that may have distracted her. I’m guessing she’ll be negative though, I’m assuming she is a failed actress. Hiss…… I also went to the cinema and watched Black Swan, wow, what a film! I won’t go into a full on critique as there are professionals out there who would review it much better than I but, I thought it was amazing. Very dark and at times hard to watch but mesmerising. It was slightly tainted by the alarmingly noisy audience, I mean it really was unbelievable! Conversations, sweet wrappers, drinks opening, laughing at really random moments… I want to go again but to a much smaller cinema, may be more expensive but totally worth it.

So another week and a positive attitude. Agent has the headshots so no doubt I will hear from her shortly and decide what to do for the best. I am doing lots of gym work in the mean time though, forgot to mention that at the last audition I was probably the fattest one there and because I will never give up on my carbs I am going to have to do a hell of a lot of exercise instead.

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This one is for me

Yesterday was eventful. I had contact with my ex agent which was nice, it was through email and I was so apprehensive about hearing from her, as I consider her a good friend, its nice to have that weight off my mind. She didn’t shut up shop because she had to but more because she wanted to. She has been working consistently for about four years, and that’s with NO holidays, and she was just pretty exhausted. It’s a lot harder to run a smaller agency I think. You don’t have as much support, she ran it pretty much by herself, and I think occasionally the relationship between agent and client can become more demanding. As I mentioned previously I had her mobile number, her home number, her address,,,, ok we were friends first but still, she was pretty much as available to all her clients. That can take its toll, she felt more like a mother than an agent and to be looking after so many “children” when you’re only just in your 30’s would test the best of us. So she is taking time out, she may go back to it or else go down another route but thankfully we are good. Hope to “do lunch” in a few weeks so it’ll be nice to catch up then.

I had my BIG audition. I had been prepping for it as soon as I was sent the script. It was the last thing I thought about when I went to sleep and the first thing I thought of when I woke up. It was probably all over in about four minutes. It was straight to camera so no reaction to gauge from anyone. The girl filming was sweet and helpful but she couldn’t tell me anything, I couldn’t get any sort of feedback as it has absolutely nothing to do with her. She did tell me that she would be sending the tapes over tonight and that they would know in a couple of weeks if it was good news. I had the unfortunate luck of hearing the girl before me. Her accent was pretty solid and her delivery was good but totally different to mine. She had read the character completely differently to me and that threw me. I had to try to block that out, it was distracting although I managed to shake it off and just stick to what I’d prepared. So that’s that. The excitement, prep, nerves and general focus of that is over. I left fairly flat and slightly empty in a way as there was nothing for me to aim towards. As I was sitting in there waiting, there was an actor who was chatting to the main CD about his up and coming trip to LA. He is going out for a month and she began listing off people who he should meet and what he’d be right for. I remember a while back when I was waiting to go in for an audition and the CD came out and chatted to me for a good ten minutes about future projects, and I heard the girl next to me sigh a little. I know how she feels. God it’s so rubbish sometimes, you just want to jump in and say “Hey what about me! You obviously already know that guy come chat to me, I am sure I’d be right for loads!” She told him about a film she was going to be casting in a couple of months but it was a period piece and at the moment she was only focusing on girls. It was almost like a comedy sketch, the only thing missing would have been me actually sitting there in period costume with a bright flashing arrow pointing at me. I spoke to mum and dad last night and they told me about a programme about a ski chalet maid that was coming out that I could have done easily and would have been perfect for. I see parts and think that all the time, I actually avoid watching certain shows that I’m sure I’d love simply because there is a part in it that I could have played.

Urgh, apologies for this rather downbeat and strange mood, it’s a constant battle of emotions really. The doubt is with me today. One minute you are so sure it’s going to happen and that this one could be the one and the next…. well can’t think like that. It’s only February and I’ve already had four really top auditions and even if they don’t result in immediate jobs people are seeing me so it’s all positive.

Well there you go, no post in over a week and then two in two days. I’m not sure who this post was for, you guys or for me, but I do feel a little bit better now. Who needs to spend loads on a therapist when I have you lot to talk to?


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A bit of murder at the weekend is always a treat

I am beyond tired; sitting at the computer screen with loads to do but my brain just won’t commute. Well this is obviously to do with the weekend filming I had, which was amazing. It was more than I expected, the crew were brilliant, the atmosphere great and the script genius. It’s for a horror, which is my favourite genre, and it’s scary!! The make up for the bad guy was immense. I wish I could expand more but it’s too much of a risk, myself and everyone involved is bound to a strict confidentiality agreement. Anyway it’s just the teaser trailer and there is no guarantee that I would make the actual feature but god I hope so. It was two long days, and although the director was originally hoping for 90 secs he thinks he has a good 7 minutes worth. He explained to myself and the other actress that he wasn’t holding out much hope as to the calibre of people (both crew and actors attached) and therefore did not think he would get any more usable footage than that. This was due to the lack of budget and the work involved, but the team was great. Extremely professional with fantastic experience and so the results were fantastic. There will be a screening in three weeks as they need to have this ready before Christmas to they can take it out to LA for pilot season. I know it’s going to do well, the script is spot on and the footage I did manage to see was gripping. It was great for me to practice the American accent (crucial to have) and also to get back in front of the camera again. My character comes to a very grim end and that was so much fun to shoot.

 Back to work today and trying to get focused again. I had a great audition at the end of the week for a Sky ad set to come out next year which will be a pretty big campaign and although it went well I would have heard by now. Always difficult then seeing those on TV as you immediately wonder whether you could have done it better. But all in all spirits are higher than last week and although there is nothing in the pipe line as such, auditions are picking up and I’m feeling optimistic.


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