Last week ended up on an unexpected high. I had several auditions which all went really well, couldn’t have done better, and so I felt the parts were mine. I didn’t get any of them. Then on Thursday I received an email from a writer about a script he’d written which he was looking to film in March. It was a very detailed and exciting pitch. He already has an excellent DOP attached and an extremely experienced director. He knows of me through my HBO show and wanted to meet. Now, any work that is offered out right I am always dubious about. There always seems to be a catch, mainly, largely to do with my HBO role, nudity. I have pretty much decided against nudity from now on, unless it is absolutely essential to the script and they are willing to pay A LOT of wonga. I think I have earned that right. Also there are many newbie’s out there (this is the guys first script) who end up cutting corners and taking unnecessary risks, which I also want to avoid. So before I got carried away with it all I had my questions ready. Who was officially attached, what pre-production had been carried out already and what was left to do blah blah blah. When I arrive at the meeting, confident and prepared to grill him, I discover that not only am I NOT being offered the part outright, they are also seeing eight other girls. Fortunately, I did not give away the fact that I assumed the role was mine and managed to brush off this unexpected twist. But suddenly I found myself fighting for this role. I hadn’t thought for one minute it wasn’t mine so now all I can think about is not getting the part. It’s filming abroad in a country I have always wanted to go to, the production team attached are great and would be excellent to work with, I love the story and it’s for the lead. So I have gone from feeling slightly detached and hesitant at getting carried away, to falling in love with the job and desperately wanting it. Mmmm “you only want what you can’t have” springs to mind. I decided to not change my tactic however; I should still be sticking to my same requirements. He came to me after all and it should still be a matter of convincing me to do it. I know I can bring a lot to the film and would certainly do the part justice. So I remain slightly aloof. Asking questions and by no means saying I want the part. I am not sure if I had previously known that I was only being considered along with others that I would have played it this cool, but as I left the meeting I felt quite up beat about it. Usually when you are auditioning or meeting for a role you are selling yourself, showing or explaining why you should be given the role, but why not approach it the other way? Ok I’m not quite Hollywood status… yet… but I know what I can do so I no longer have to jump at every offer. Anyway it appears to have paid off, I will be meeting for a reading in a couple of weeks. It is unclear at this stage whether it’s just me or other girls as well but I am not going to give that any weight either way, I’m through the first round.
I would also like to address a question I was asked several weeks ago now, sorry about the delay, no excuses just forgot. This post reminded me of it. From a previous blog entitled Aren’t you that actress from, it was in reference to “fan enthusiasm” – and what is expected from you, the artist. I pick this up as I was contacted directly for this last job and not through my agent. Now I have a website where I can be contacted, there is no direct address or number so it’s still very much private but some of the “requests” I get are quite astounding. Working in this industry for around 15 years now (my first professional gig being in my early teens) the world of celebrity has certainly grown. I guess it seems a lot harder now to differentiate between a celebrity and an artist. All the horrendous “reality” programmes are not helping our cause, I feel strongly about the lack of credible drama on our screens today and frustrated by the amount of crap that’s shown instead. I should say at this point that I do love the X-Factor, it is my guilty pleasure and I know it completely goes against all I stand for but, for crying out loud, Simon Cowell is just so damn watch able!! Anyway, because many of these reality show contestants thrive on attention, they very much invite the public in, posing for paps, selling stories to papers etc etc. So it becomes the case that the more you are gossiped about and in the media light, the more famous you become and the more work you get. Those who ignore fans, or not even ignore, but don’t throw themselves at them – much like your musical favourite Sia – suddenly become, arrogant, rude, ungrateful etc. It is extremely difficult to get the balance right and unfortunately it seems crucial. It’s not simply enough to be good at what you do but you need to be liked too. There are many out there who are quite frankly rubbish at everything, but the public love them. I have not yet been in a situation when I have been face to face with any inappropriate behaviour or made to feel uncomfortable, but I have received mail from people which has been slightly awkward. Asking for dates, personal interviews, and some just ranting at me for not making myself “more available”…. In an ideal world our work would be the same as any other. You are praised when you do a good job and your personal life is nobody’s business but your own. But in the world of OK and Hello, WAG’s and Big Brother, I can’t see that happening any time soon. Perhaps one day I’ll have a more informed answer but right now I’m pretty much safe from intrusion.