It’s been a quiet few weeks, hence my lack of posting. I never want to write just for the sake of it but felt it was best to post something so you don’t think I have gone AWOL. After my last confession of being on a major come down I can see the potential for people to think I may have gone mental. Well I haven’t, not quite.
I have had a couple of auditions, not as much as I’d like, but some at least. One was for a tour of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which is an amazing play but the destination of some of the theatres weren’t too appealing so in truth I don’t think my desire was there. I was also late. This had nothing to do with a lack of desire more to do with a lack of decent public transport. I really hate the tube. They were understanding and fortunately the director had also been effected by the disruptions but nonetheless it’s not a great start. It went ok but they only got me to read once and unless they say, “wow, that was amazing, prefect, I really don’t think we need to hear that again” I don’t think it’s ever a good sign.
The other was for an advert, sweet gig, four days filming in Berlin with just under £15,000 for your troubles. I got pencilled, not heavy pencilled, pencilled and so deep down I knew I wouldn’t get it. I wish they wouldn’t call unless I’m penned!! Well I waited until the day before filming started still thinking that the pencil may change into a pen and then my agent emailed with the sad news that the pencil had been removed. Erased, rubbed out, over. So that’s that.
I have had a few people ask me over the last few days how “it’s” all going and I have said to everyone without hesitation that it’s going well. That I am on target. That this time next year I will be a full-time actress, not temping to tide me over. I think it is important to have these goals, as long as you’re flexible. I have in all honestly hit the goals I have set myself so far. When I first started out I wanted representation in a year, and I got it. Then I wanted a personal agent by the time I was 26 and I got one and then I said I wanted one of the top agencies by the time I was 30 and I am well ahead on that one, ish….
So now the next goal has been set and I think as long as I keep willing it to happen I’ll get there. This is however quite a big goal, and not much time to achieve it in but I have to stay positive and focused. Jeeze if I had a penny for every time I’d said those words I think I would be able to afford to just be an actress!