It’s been a long week to say the least. I am waiting to hear back from the TV audition and it’s killing me! I’m not usually this impatient, you get used to the waiting, you have to, but I just can’t seem to get this gig out of my mind. I even dreamt about it the other night, it’s literally driving me mental. I have also made the error of telling people.
When you are asked constantly by what seems like everyone what you are “working on” at the moment, it always feels crap to say nothing. So I usually say I’m waiting to hear back from several great auditions, so fingers crossed. And that’s enough. But this time I have told them all about this gig. So now I am constantly reminded of my early confidence and excitement which seems to be diminishing by the day.
I had some other news regarding the trailer I did for the new horror flick filming this year. The girl in it with me who was the lead has been replaced by an American actress who is well-known over the waters. This is great in terms of the movie, they are getting the financial backing and it’s obviously going to be a big release, but very disappointing for the other actress. She was great and became a good friend. But she was realistic about it from the beginning; she had the lead role so it was always likely to go to someone who would pull in the audience.
I contacted the producers about my role and at the moment it would appear I am safe. I don’t have a large part, although it is a nice character, so wouldn’t necessarily need to be a big name. I am not completely unknown in America so I am still in with a chance. This would be a big deal for me. The film is going for worldwide release in all cinemas and the script is really good so I am certain it would be a hit. But this is another thing where I mustn’t get carried away and try to forget about it.
With all these “maybe’s” going on it is hard not to get swept up with it all. I can’t help but feel like I am at the turning point, that this year, any moment now, it’s all going to come together. As exciting as it is, it’s also terrifying. What if nothing comes through? If all the auditions I’m waiting to hear back on come to nothing? Do I have the strength to start over again with new hopes? I think so, I have to, but jeeze it seems to be getting harder by the day.
I have a meeting with the agent on Friday to discuss my progress and basically have a catch up which is good and either way by then I will know about the TV job, so we can go from there with what’s next. Fingers crossed it’ll be something well paid, glamorous and hot!