Look at my mate again, I double dare ya to look at my mate again!!

I had an unfortunate incident the other night involving a divo. A divo is the male equivalent of a diva. I can’t say for certain whether he was a performer in the professional sense but I’m certain the majority of his life is quite a show! I was on a night out in Soho – which I have to say is beginning to tire; I really don’t rate it that much – with a close friend of mine. We were strutting our stuff, singing quite merrily when a chap walks past and knocks into me. He was quite a large guy both physically and, in his opinion, mentally. Anyway I tutted, reasonably quietly, but my friend had a momentarily lapse in judgement and shouted “urm excuse you!” Immediately the guy stops in his tracks, turns on his heels and says “you what?!” Shit. I immediately turn to my friend and tell him to keep walking, he agrees that he shouldn’t have said anything and too picks up the pace. Alas this does not put this charming individual off as we can hear the insults getting louder, he is in pursuit. I immediately dive into the closest pub and my friend stands his ground. And bravo to him, he is a musical theatre guy, predominantly, pretty and although fairly tall, I don’t think he would win this particular battle. I cower inside the pub but close enough so I can listen and if needs be shout fire!! Just a pointer here, I heard recently that you are more likely to receive help or some kind of reaction from passers-by if you shout fire than rape. Not that I expected my friend to be raped but I assumed it applied to most cries of assistance. Anyway the gentleman reaches my friend who I believe here is acting his butt off as there is no sign of what I later discovered was absolute fear. He says that he barged into his female friend and he found it rude and the guy replies, “she barged into me mate, I mean, does she think she’s famous or something?!”….. pause…. and then my friend replies “well actually, a little bit”… Before he is able to respond a bouncer appears (apparently wondering what the hell I am doing hiding in the corner like some kind of hobbit), and the confrontation abruptly comes to an end. This made me realise that often the best way to diffuse an argument is to tell the truth. I hate any sort of confrontation, especially in public, it can be so embarrassing. I hate watching it and am even more mortified to be involved in it. Often the insults become ridiculous with comebacks like “yeah well so are you”, or a classic that I was witness to. Girl number one says “oh go away, this is boring me” girl number two replies “you’re boring”, good one… I was once called a “coked up anorexic bitch” none of which were true I might add, I’ve always preferred lemonade to coke and food is pretty much my favourite thing. But when you take a step back and actually think about the ridiculousness of the actual situation – which granted when drunk is not easy – it seems pointless to continue it. The best example of this, which gave me an insight early on as to what I had to come, was on one of my first nights out. I was about 15 – how I managed to get into the club is beyond me I must have looked about 12 – and I was just bopping along to some tunage, minding my own business when a girl walks up to me and pushes me. Stumbling back I regain my composure and ask what’s going on. She says something about staring at her friend and “giving it all that”. I am partially deaf in one ear – got kicked in the ear drum whilst learning to swim as a kid, so I have no idea what she’s saying and ask her to repeat herself. The friend I have apparently been staring at then marches over and says, and I quote “you’d better stop cutting your eye at me bitch”…..?? Urm, bit confused, so I reply (bear in mind I was 15, at a fairly sweet and well-behaved girls school at the time) “I beg your pardon, cutting my what??” The girl bursts out laughing, shakes my hand and walks off. I still have no idea what happened but I honestly didn’t understand her comment, so instead of a come back I just told the truth and she was gone….Nothing seems to have changed much, except when they find out I’m an actress, it seems to get worse. “What think your something special do ya?” Not really I just like acting, what do you do?… I don’t usually get a response to that.

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