Actress/model??

ANOTHER commercial casting yesterday, I really don’t think I’ve talked about them enough cos they’re so much fun and amazing for self-esteem.  Surrounded by beautiful girls, singing about chips, waiting around for hours, and sometimes all to only enter the room and know immediately from the casting director’s face that you are totally NOT what they’re looking for.  This one is fairly typical, I’m not really paying attention to the mundane chatter going on around me about nail polish and the latest edition of heat magazine.  But I do glance around the room and start to panic a little. Now I’m not usually the prettiest of the bunch for these auditions, far from it – commercial castings often ask for actors/models and I am most definitely just an actress – but these girls seem particularly beautiful and very very tall.  After a few seconds of feeling completely out-of-place I realise there are two castings going on and sigh with relief.  Clearly I do this a tad louder than I realise as one of the queens says “don’t worry I very much doubt you’ll be going in with us” WHAT A BITCH!!!! I mean don’t get me wrong she was right, but still……

So confidence sufficiently knocked I get called in with two other girls.  I’m about a foot shorter than them and a 5/10 in the looks department compared to their 10/10.  Thank god I had my teeth done otherwise it would just be ridiculous.  We all line up and the camera only has to be adjusted when it comes to me, I’m assuming to point down and zoom out.  Then the delivery of the lines. Not complicated, simple line about mayonnaise. So they step up first, pause and appear to ground themselves and then ask the casting director what their motivation is…….. I didn’t get the gig but I’m pretty certain they wouldn’t have either.  The thing about auditioning with models is, they may not make you feel pretty but they sure make you feel confident about acting..

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1 Comment

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One response to “Actress/model??

  1. David

    K. As a typical male who despises dishonest and empty platitudes meant solely to boost fragile female self-esteem and a male who passes a fairly callous, ungentlemanly, completely unrepressed, and coldly scrutinising eye over the local fauna from day to day (rabid feminists just started growling and nashing their teeth), and who ADORES bachelorhood, you know what I am about to say is the absolute (though ugly and shallow) truth:

    I. First, you should definitely rate yourself more than 5/10.
    II. The average male doesn’t really give a damn how tall you are. Hot girls can be short. They often are. ‘Tall dark and handsome’ is your gender’s obsession, dear, not ours.
    III. Third, have you ever noticed that some of the most bizarre looking famous actresses frequently top the ‘100 sexiest women’ lists, even though they often lack the attributes of gorgeous underwear models? Case and point: Kirsten Dunst or Billie Piper (or even Olivia Wilde or Scarlett Johannson, especially without the red carpet make-up). Has anyone actually ever LOOKED at these girls? And compared them to, say, Heidi Klum? But they are surrounded by the mystique of the fantastic women they play (though I realize this is seperate from real life). The character you play is often twice as attractive as any physical attribute. Attitude is an aphrodisiac. As an actress, you’ve cornered the market on attitude.
    IV. Actresses frequently do not have the body shape of ‘models’ yet they get to play some of the most desirable female personalities ever writ, and as a result become some of the most sought after women ALIVE, much more so than your average model, who actually are quite common, when you think about it. A dime a dozen. In fact, they are so frequently seen in the media that, while undeniably and immensely desirable for their bodies, they are so numerous they are ultimately indistinguishable, forgettable, and boring. Beauty is common. It is also fleeting.
    V. Models are good for selling mayonnaise. So be it. But I really do think you’ve gotten the better deal…

    There. Done.

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