Suppose I should mention my day job – I’m at it right now, I would like to say I’m on my lunch break and not wasting company time at all……….I think it’s important to at least touch on it cos, let’s face it, as a “jobbing actor”, unfortunately I’m there more than not. Data inputer basically and its boring, very boring. But it pays the bills; they are flexible with my hours and very understanding. I like most of the people here, and there are a couple of cuties. I have nicknames for most of the people as I do tend to moan occasionally and I’m not exactly known for my subtlety so don’t risk it. Some of the names are genius and not obvious at all, others not so great, but I think I’m fairly safe. May divulge in some later but perhaps not yet. It was initially supposed to be a 6 month thing, you know, just until I moved to LA, been there for 4 years now. God that’s depressing, I even have training days, every time I go on one I die a little inside. WHY HAVEN’T I MADE IT YET?????????? To make matters worse when I do leave for a TV or film job they inevitably watch it and then I get those faces of “oh dear, back again, not the break you’d hoped for then?” I often get told it must be hard to get back into the swing of things and just as I’m about to answer the files get shoved into my hands and I’m directed to the cupboard. The last job I finished I went back to the office the next day. So literally one day I’m getting driven to work, having drinks fetched and pretty much whatever else I need to filing and typing and filling with self loathing. I found myself here till 7 one evening because I was worried I was getting behind. I mean that’s ridiculous, I DON’T CARE!!! Still I guess it could be worse, before this I was working in a call centre, selling massaging chairs and beds. I was also living in a town which was quite possibly the most depressing town one could imagine. Those were the days of living with my brother and he’s manically depressed girlfriend for free. I say free but I believe my brother moved me in as a possible councillor/human shield against this girl’s crazy mentality. It worked though after 8 excruciating months she was gone and we moved closer into town. I remember the night she left, I came downstairs to find him dancing in the lounge, he didn’t have any pants on and there was no music playing either – not sure if that’s significant but wanted to paint a picture, anyway where was I? Oh yes the office, so now whenever I get jobs I try my best not to mention it, I’d rather they not know. I can leave do some filming and come back and avoid those looks of sympathy. So many times its tempting to say “hey, at least I have another job!” but I’m pretty much certain that would slightly annoy some and would result in me heading back towards the call centre. Shudder. My friends keep me going though, especially through the day and via work email. Some of them are in as desperate situation as I am, and sharing pain is always better. Two of my closest girl pals are no longer in the country (not because of me), ones an Aussie and like all of them she eventually had to go back and the other is in Thailand partying like a maniac for the foreseeable future. They are brilliant and if I didn’t want this bloody career so much I’d be over there partying with them. But alas at the moment I can’t afford the luxuries of sabbaticals or “time outs”…My other close friend lives in Braintree…….yep.