We’re pleased to tell you the bad news

Not a great deal of news. The theatre audition which caused much dread and endless nights of doing Shakespeare in front of the mirror was a no. Well I never actually heard a no I just received an email telling me the “exciting” news of the winners! Me not being one of them. I guess that’s a more positive spin on receiving just a no….

The TV audition went well, as they always seem to. I turned up with a fairly small bit of dialogue prepared and the casting director said he was desperate to get me involved so gave me some more to read. Not as desperate as me I thought!

I had my appraisal at my day job and received a letter saying they were “pleased” to tell me my salary was staying the same. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a positive spin or rather a typo; either way it did not bring any happiness. When I was asked what my goals were for next year I thought, Hollywood, LA, Broadway, west end, any thing that’s not here, but when I opened my mouth I said to learn more and progress my way up the company. Best bit of acting I did all week.

So the blues kicked in. No pay rise, no acting jobs and a lack of auditions I was ready to head home and wallow. Then I got an invite to a screening of a horror promo I shot last year and it was brilliant. The event had no red carpet but we (the “stars” of the flick) were treated as if there was. The promo looked great, I had to do an American accent and it was the first time I had heard myself on-screen and I was convinced. There were a couple of words here and there that may have given away my true nationality but nothing a voice coach couldn’t correct. We had the usual after screening drinks and natter and I managed to “work the room” quite well. The exec producer was there and by the end of the night I think I had well and truly ingrained myself into his memory so hopefully when the money comes through to make the feature he will take me with it!

I have another theatre audition coming up at the weekend with quite an interesting script so that could be promising.  I do think as we are now approaching April it’s really time I got something. I will be hitting Cannes this year and plan to make the most of that venture. Mainly sunning during the day and “networking” in the evening…. I know, it can be tough.

It should have been amazing but…. it wasn’t!

Well the audition yesterday was pretty great. I walk into the casting director’s place and she greets me with an embrace! We had a general meet two years ago and it would appear I made a good impression. She says she has been dying to get me in for something for ages (two years I’m guessing) but nothing had come up and that this is finally ideal. She also said that the story I told her last time is one she still retells now and it always gets a laugh….. Urm, what story?!?!!? My mind is a panic. Do I pretend to know what she means and go along with it or tell her I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about and risk offending her? And also hope of course, that the story was real and not just a ploy to be remembered… Thankfully I don’t have to worry as she retells it to me and it was fact. It was to do with a play I did a few years ago, which should have been one to remember. It was a very romantic story and I was single at the time and so I was very much looking forward to meeting my leading man. It was to be a long run and so we would be spending a lot of time together. There were usually two shows a day with Sundays off. And well, we hated each other, and I mean real hatred. When I saw him I though cute and was very pleased but as soon as he opened his mouth I wanted to vomit into it! Everything about him made my skin crawl, all he had to do was say hello and I wanted to punch him in the face. Have you ever had that experience? I can’t stress enough that this is not a common occurrence; in fact I had never before and have never since experienced anything like it which was the very cruel irony of the story. His feelings were mutual so I wasn’t just being a bitch; it was just a massive personality clash. He had really bad breath and he was aware of it and he actually used to make it worse just to make it harder for me, I mean what a weirdo!! Anyway, that ended up being an extremely long run and it really put our professionalism to the test, months and months of kissing and hugging….still makes me want to barf.

Anyhoo, the read was good and I could really sense that she wanted me to do well. It was on tape and I got to do it several times so I just have to hope the director likes me as much as she does. I IMDB’d all the crew and the cast that have already signed up last night and it’s so much bigger than I thought it was. Not sure if that was a good idea or not. If I’d have known it was that huge I may have been way too nervous but then again maybe I would have been more prepared. Whatever the case I think in future I’ll either look them up before the audition or not at all, cos now my mind is racing! Got another big one today, it’s for another feature and one that already has a big following. It’s currently a TV show which is being made into a film and it’s huge over here. Not sure if it’s shown in the states but I’m sure the theatrical release will be global. It would be massive for me and I am feeling pretty good about it. It’s again for a much younger character so I have my age and experience on my side and the casting director attached likes me and knows my work so all seems to be in my favour. If only casting directors had the final say I think I would bag both jobs.

Romeo done

The show is drawing to an end already, can’t believe how quickly it’s gone. We’re not quite there yet but certainly in the home stretch. It’s been a success in my opinion. The audiences have been good, the majority of the reviews have been positive and I hope to have made some good impressions on a few influential people. Mostly though I have made some great friends. Alas, as it seems is always the case, I know some of them I will lose contact with. Not because I don’t like them as much as others. I can honestly say there is not one person in the cast whom I prefer to anyone else, I think they’re all great, but it is inevitable. Due to different work schedules, groups of friends, convenience etc. The cracks are beginning to show with our Romeo. He embarked on the dreaded showmance, (I briefly touched on the reasons why it is never advisable to get involved with a co-worker in Fact or Fiction). There was a lot of flirting and a seemingly blatant show of interest, but when the certain lady followed this up and suggested they take it somewhere more private he ducked out. It would appear that he wasn’t really interested at all, just enjoying the attention. For one reason or another I seemed to be the agony aunt to both parties and they each came to me with their own account of events. Fortunately they seem to have gotten over this blip but with a few shows still to go it could have been disastrous! Now when I am acting with him I am seeing more of a cocky boy to a sweet one, it would appear my prediction of him succumbing to the ways of the biz (which I mentioned in Directors and Dragons) is happening faster than expected, and so another one bites the dust.

Auditions have started to pick up again as the reality of my soon to be “resting” period is during closer and closer I am getting more anxious. You are never really able to completely enjoy a job unless you know you have something lined up afterwards. How long will it be before I get something else?? Not too long I hope, it’s such a drag when all I have is the office, and this contract is running out in a few months so god only knows what I’ll do then. Well that’s all for now, nothing too exciting to report yet, but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say after the wrap party!

There’s always one!

So we have had one review back so far and it was a great one!! They loved us and the production as a whole, there wasn’t one negative, so we are delighted! I have been feeling great about the show and have had some wonderful feedback. You know yourself when you’ve done a good performance and so far I am feeling happy. There has been a mystery blogger – who I can’t really complain about seeing as I am one too – who seems to have targeted me. I will say though that although I do remain anonymous I never publically insult anyone so I feel I do have the right to complain about this person slightly. It’s frustrating as I don’t believe that they didn’t like my performance which makes it a personal vendetta as oppose to a professional one. Now I know I shouldn’t let it bother me as the qualified critics have come back and they like it but still it can’t help but grate. I think if you are going to publically bash someone then you should at least have the guts to say who you are. I have received some less than kind bashings in my time, mainly to do with my appearance than my performance, and I have grown to accept this, there will always be someone who jumps on the hate wagon. But when they attack my ability as an actor that’s when it hurts. Ok so I did get my teeth done and the diet I went on after the HBO gig may (who am I kidding, was) a result of the comments I received from the public, but still, it’s my acting that’s important to me. I am old enough now to be comfortable with my appearance, so people can say what they want, but my acting!!!!??? Then the rage does seep in. But I figure if they’re not willing to say who they are then perhaps it’s because they are not confident enough in their statements, or at least aware that it’s just plain mean. Whenever I have received hateful remarks, it has always been from anonymous or “nicknamed” bloggers. I recently received a delightful message from a John Wayne, needless to say I decided not to post it, but if you are reading John, I hope you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth! That is one thing that you have to accept when you come in to this line of work, there will always be someone trying to bring you down. For what reason? Who knows. But it must be exhausting feeling such negativity all the time, and hate only breeds hate so I suppose you should feel sorry for them more than anything… I’m trying.

Anyway, I have given the hater far too much time already. My agent has been doing well and seems to be getting some influential people in so that’s good and other cast members have been getting people in too, so we are getting the show case we deserve. I am a little nervous about tonight as I think we may be in the dog house. Now I know I said this last time and I am making the director out to sound like a head teacher but he’s not. Last time I totally misread the situation and we weren’t in trouble at all, but this time…? It was because of the weekend, we have two shows on the Saturday and in-between them we had to take production stills. This basically meant we had to go through the whole show again so the company had production shots. Why this could not be done during a dress rehearsal I’m not sure, in fact I think it was? Anyway, we were all a little shattered and also conscious of the time, we needed to eat and get ready for the next show so became a little agitated. And all of a sudden the girl taking the pics had a major hissy fit and it was all over. Now we have to meet early tonight and do it all again. Her attitude did anger me slightly to begin with but I really don’t care now, seems a little over the top, but it just highlights that it’s not only actors that can be divas at times. Wow, I guess this post is a bit of a moany one but hopefully next time it will be more positive. We are waiting for some more reviews to come out and I am excited about that as I am sure they’re going to be good ones. I also have lots of friends and family coming this week so I’m looking forward to the next few days. There are lots more stories to tell about the cast and how we manage to keep the “magic” alive, but that’s another post entirely….

Critics?? Bring it on….

Well I am absolutely shattered!! The show has started and is going well but there have been lots of post show drinks and I am still working at the office in the day and it has finally hit me. I am literally a walking zombie so a little apprehensive as to how I am going to get through the show this evening! We have had some press in, one writing furiously throughout, one writing in the first half and then nothing in the second – no idea what that means – and we managed to make another one cry, (the story is sad!) So soon the reviews will be out, fingers crossed they won’t be too brutal. I’ve managed fairly smooth performances so far so feeling more settled now, although just before we go on we all ask why we put ourselves through it. I seriously seem to have a panic attack every night!! But once I have done my first scene I relax and start to enjoy myself. My boyfriend has come to EVERY performance so far, really playing the dutiful partner, very impressed with that. Our wage also depends on ticket sales so he’s helping everyone out! Agent has been and she loved it and is currently working on getting as many people to come along to see it as she can, so fingers crossed. I am leaving for the theatre soon and just writing that has induced some laboured breathing, we’ve also been called early for notes from the director. I have a feeling we may be in trouble, not sure why but something is telling me to expect rage – jaysus.

I am out of wit and energy to write anymore at the moment I’m afraid, I’m literally finding it so hard to function. This was just a little update, but bare with me and I will be back to normal soon!!

Other roles and ex actors!

Well I’m guessing you’ve figured by now, due to the lack of excited and slightly irritating celebratory blogs on my success, that I did not get the HBO job. The response was positive, they liked my tape and the director liked my look but they decided to go for a different casting type for this particular role. Knowing what they’re going for – which I won’t go into details here because the sherlocks on the scene will work out the actress far too quickly – I get it and think that the part definitely suits that look more. I’ve been told they want to get me back in for another character later on so that’s good, although I have told my agent that she has to keep on top of this – her response was standard, I have a bad habit of telling her how to do her job. Its lucky we’re friends, I fear that if this were not the case she may have stopped answering my calls a long time ago. So every cloud and all that, I’ve been in and I have in a sense got through the first round as they are thinking of other things for me, so moving on.

The rehearsals for the show are going well, we’re making progress although I really need to start learning lines, there is sooo many of them!!  The tickets are selling already which is nice, but not only do I have family coming on the first night which is horrendous –  F.Y.I, never go on the first night, this is not a happy time for the actors –  I also have press night on my birthday I hate press night the pressure is immense and you know sometimes whatever you do the critic just won’t like itl! But moaning aside I am having fun, I get on really well with the whole group and have a great connection with my leading man, which is a god send. I found out today that the director knows an ex of mine, who is also an actor and could have played that role, that would have been awful, he and I DO NOT get on. Managed to keep my feelings to myself though, never good to bad mouth other actors, I’ll save that for my family!