They’re awful… but for godsake don’t tell anyone!

So I decided to ask my agent for advice regarding the photographer and to be honest I wasn’t a major fan of any of the ones she suggested, which puts me in a bit of a pickle. I have asked her for her advice, she has given it to me and now I want to ignore it…. Mmm, now I won’t be getting the pics done for at least a month so she may well have forgotten the email by then but still it’s annoying. I’m sure she won’t be fussed who I go with as long as they are decent pictures but I don’t want it to seem like a think I know better… but…. Wowsers, there are so many added stresses to moving agents that you don’t think about. With my old agent I would have simply told her that I didn’t really like the look of the photographers and that would have been fine. I’m sure it’d be the same case with this one but I think it’s a little too early to push my luck, especially as I haven’t made her any money yet. But then again I should really be saying she hasn’t made me any yet. This actually fits in quite nicely to the question of the week I was posted on my last entry “What is the craziest blunder you’ve ever heard an agent doing—something that cost him or her their job and (probably) their self-esteem?”

Now I have been fairly lucky to be honest, when it comes to agents. I started off in a co-op, which is effectively an agency run by actors. We all take it in turns to be in the office and act as the agent when we are not working and this is a great way to start out. I learnt a lot about casting directors and the process of auditions. Then my last agent was fab, very personal and honest with me, and now I’m with one of the big boys and so I don’t think, or at least I hope, I won’t experience any mishaps.

There was one instance when I was made to audition for a play which required me to sing. I CANNOT SING. I was very surprised that I was still advised to go as I think sending a client up for a meet when they are just unsuitable for the job does more harm than good. There are certain circumstances when it is good to go for a job even if you’re not convinced you’re completely right for the part, to meet the director or team involved but I think when you are just going to be crap you really shouldn’t. Anyway I painfully made my way through a Dylan song, thought as he isn’t exactly known for his beautiful voice this could be the best bet. Needless to say I did not get recalled and neither have I since heard from said director. This I think was more of a faux pas on my part; I think I should have just said no. There was also another time when I had done a really good audition and the director asked me to smile so they could see my teeth and for some reason I pulled the widest smile ever, so much so that even if I had had normal teeth it would have looked weird. Didn’t get a call back for that either. It’s funny sometimes the way you behave in an audition, it’s as though you suddenly lose all common sense and have no control over what you are actually doing and saying. I have on far too many occasions left an audition or a meet and thought “what the hell was that?!?”

I know the question was related to agent blunders as oppose to actor blunders, but actors are so wary of bad mouthing anyone, especially agents, that you don’t really here of blunders often. Honestly it really is a cutthroat business, any slight against someone, especially someone who bitches about someone else, is a no go. This reminds me of my first job actually which, looking back on now, was quite frankly wrong on so many levels. I wasn’t a member of equity then, I doubt they would have hired me if I was! Anyway, it was for a touring show and during the rehearsal stage we were to be staying at the director’s house (alarm bells should have sounded here) and we were to be paid 50 a week………… yes that’s right 50 a week, not per day, which is still below minimum wage, but per week. Anyway this was my first job and I was all excited so was prepared to let it go but I have advice, quite right at the time, to email them about the money situation. Now I worded the email very carefully, I didn’t just say ‘you’re not paying enough’, I said something along the lines of due to the low pay during rehearsals would it be possible for me to get some evening or weekend work whilst I am up there to help support me. Reasonable enough but as soon as I pressed send my tummy knotted a little. Well I waited for the contract to arrive and it didn’t. I called and they said it was in the post and when I called for the third time one of them finally had the balls to tell me that there had been a mix up in the casting and I wasn’t right for the part. I was devastated. Of course it was all rubbish, there hadn’t been a mistake they just didn’t want to pay more money and as they knew they didn’t have a leg to stand on they decided to cut me off instead. It actually resulted in them asking me two weeks later to reconsider, the girl they had given it to had gotten pregnant so wouldn’t be able to do the whole run. There was no pay rise and no apology but I took the role. I don’t regret it, it was a wonderful experience but I will never work with that company again and anyone I know who thinks of doing so I will warn them in advance, but then I didn’t make a point of bad mouthing them either. You never know who may know who and there is always the risk of there being a connection you wish there wasn’t. I know this post has gone off on a bit of a tangent but still all relevant, when it comes to blunders and general fcuk ups they unfortunately are not always made too public. I guess it’s a case of some things are better left unsaid, if someone is crap sooner or later it’ll come out. We hope!

Why fame is important.

Well it’s not been the best of starts to the week. I had to get on the tube this morning during rush hour, which isn’t nice at the best of times, but today this actually led to injury. There were major delays and not many trains running due to “adverse weather conditions”. How this affects the tubes I don’t know. They are underground for one and it’s like a sauna down there so I can’t believe it’s to do with the cold but who knows! Anyway as I get on I can see it’s rammed so make the error of walking down the escalator. I should have stood to the right and waited. As I am walking down I get knocked from an impatient rush of people and ended up sliding down the stairs. The metal segregated edge stairs and scrape my knee. I am wearing tights and I can feel the material sticking into the cut. I won’t go into details but it has resulted in me having a burns plaster put on to allow the wound to heal without it being exposed. This reminded me of a frustrating incident last week. I had a commercial casting and the women behind the desk had spelt me surname wrong, no biggie I just told her and she wrote it out again. I see the new sign and again my name is wrong. So I go back and tell her it’s still wrong and spell out the name. She writes it out again and STILL gets it wrong, so I say again, with as much patience as possible and when she writes it for the third time and again gets it wrong my patience flies out the window. I’m beginning to wonder whether she is now doing it on purpose so I take the pen from her and write it myself.

As I felt that day and this morning I couldn’t help but think, soon I pray to the lord that people do know who I am, not for credibility but for the sake of my sanity. If I was recognised I would probably have to avoid the tube, or not have the need to use it and this bloody woman certainly wouldn’t get my name wrong. A diva moment you may think but at this point I don’t care. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First impressions? Not that important

An interesting week last week. I had two auditions lined up both for adverts, nice money and always welcome especially around crimbo. The first was for a newspaper. One paper that is not my preferred choice and let’s say quite patriotic. So much so that in the form I fill out when I arrive, (always fill out, name, d.o.b, availability etc) it asked me four times my nationality…. It involved me sitting on a sofa, gazing into space and then picking up the paper and smiling. Really took all my acting skills to envisage myself smiling and reading it! Anyway as I turn up my heart sinks a little. I see the name of the casting director. I met him about a year ago on a general meet. Generals often take place when perhaps it’s a bit quiet and both casting directors and actors have the luxury of catching up and taking time to meet people they haven’t met before. I had researched this guy and was looking forward to meeting him, he is quite a hottie. Anyway I turn up and immediately I pick up the vibe that he does not like me. The meeting is uncomfortable and awkward. I try to be witty and relaxed but it comes across as a little try hard and I leave. I then happen to bump into him later that day, smile and there is nothing. Horrendous. Anyway that was a year ago and I hadn’t seen him since so I walk in with a feeling of dread and pointlessness of this whole exercise. When I enter he gives me a big hug a kiss on the cheek and says it’s been too long! He asks me how I’ve been, it’s great to see me and then goes on to tell the guy in the room with him what an amazing actress I am. We have a bit of banter, and he then says that this advert is really not good enough for me but the team working on it are great so he thinks it would be a very positive meet for me and them. He then tells me about a new drama he is casting that he really wants me in for, there is a part in it that’s perfect for me. He tells me the name of the programme, the character and tells me to get my agent to ring in and tell his assistant. He says he will get me in before Christmas. I leave completely disorientated. Did that really happen?? My brain then goes into over drive. Was he actually being really sarcastic? Then at the end of the day I get an email from my agent saying he has called me in for another audition for another advert the next day.

So I turn up and there is a long queue of girls waiting all depressingly gorgeous and dolled up to the nines. He walks past and all the girls swoon, I am sitting in the corner reading Papillion, head down and he stops gives me another hug and goes…. There are several scathing looks from the other girls, “why is the plain girl getting the attention?!?” I want to tell them that I am just as shocked as they are. There is a girl further down with a pram, and what I assume is her daughter, no more than 18 months with her. Her name is called and I can see her dilemma so I offer to watch the baby. She is extremely grateful and I hear a tut from the others. Urm, why?!?! Then he appears again, smiles and I now understand. Suck arse is the general vibe. I get over this fairly quickly. But because of my act of kindness I now fall to the back of the queue, I’m in no rush so let the bitches, sorry girls, go first. By the time I go in he has left so it’s just his assistants. The audition goes well but I can see its one of those ones for actress/models so I don’t rate my chances. You had to cry into camera. This is so hard to do, to just turn on the water works with no build up, it’s not one of my fortes so I try my best and get the classic single tear. He turns up as I’m about to leave, reminds me about the new drama and I go. Amazing, so although I didn’t get any of the gigs so to speak, it was great to meet him again. I’m still not 100% convinced he remembered our last meet, but I am in no hurry to remind him!

Had another audition yesterday, again for an advert and I was supposed to be going in with a guy who is also from my agency. I turn up and he is sitting there, I go to smile but he stares back blankly, bit embarrassing. Anyway he gets called and I stand up ready to go but then they call a different girl. She is much older than me and doesn’t look too convincing with him, and then I get called with a guy far too old for me. Blatant mix up but there we go, another one I won’t be holding out for. So that’s the latest, lots of advert auditions with much-needed Xmas money but as yet no luck. Law of averages though, surely one of them will be a yes soon. Santa has to be on my side as well, I have been a very good girl this year….well most of the time.

Cold?? I’m too cool to be cold

Another week has gone already and it’s beginning to get a little frightening at the speed they are going by at! Last week was very quiet, no auditions and not much contact with the agent. I think I was still on a bit of a buzz from the weekend so didn’t really notice. Its only when Monday blues kicks in today that I think, shit, it’s been over a week without an audition. It’s nice to say that at the moment that’s a long time! I did get a call though on Thursday saying I had been picked up on for a possible music video. Apparently the artist (a popular guy who has had several big hits) was looking through spotlight – the actor’s directory – and liked my picture. I was told that the chances were good; the director would be making his decision at the end of the week. Clearly, as I haven’t mentioned it immediately I didn’t get it. In the end it came down to height and although I am the average height for women in Britain, they went for the taller girl. Could have been worse, they could have said the thinner one, that would have hurt.

I have started at the gym as I really need to keep check on the weight situation. I have accepted that, for me, the idea of a diet is just not possible, as soon as I decide to avoid certain foods I end up bingeing on them and wanting them more. So I have joined the gym. It’s going quite well, I actually enjoy it when I am there but for some reason the actual going there is causing the problem. Still, I am going three times a week and I am going to stick to that as a minimum so I think that’s pretty good. I do need to stop eating pizza and chips though, it’s really hindering things. I have noticed of late however that actresses, especially those in England, seem to be curvier than the skeletal frames you see in Hollywood and it is so refreshing. After my HBO gig I received some shocking comments about my figure and it really got to me. I am not stick thin, but I’m by no means big either, but the pressure to be super slim and trim can be horrendous. I went through several stages of actually letting myself get quite depressed by it all and convincing myself that my career was never going to take off unless I conformed to the size zero trend. Well that never happened and watching TV and films lately I think I can breathe a sigh of relief. I think women look so much better curvaceous anyway. Actually no, I think women (and men for that matter) look the best when they are at their natural shape. Some people are naturally skinny and you can tell and some are naturally bigger, and I think finally we are beginning to lean towards the natural more. It’s funny because just writing this has made me feel less pressured and therefore less strict on myself which takes away the forbidden aspect and now takes away the craving. Brilliant. I have in the last few months not smoked (I used to, quite a bit), given up salt – I literally used to cake it on and not had a fizzy drink for ages! So I am feeling pretty healthy.

The freezing cold and the lack of heat and hot water this morning certainly got my blood pumping so I can safely say I am ready for action…. Just need some to come along!

Look at my mate again, I double dare ya to look at my mate again!!

I had an unfortunate incident the other night involving a divo. A divo is the male equivalent of a diva. I can’t say for certain whether he was a performer in the professional sense but I’m certain the majority of his life is quite a show! I was on a night out in Soho – which I have to say is beginning to tire; I really don’t rate it that much – with a close friend of mine. We were strutting our stuff, singing quite merrily when a chap walks past and knocks into me. He was quite a large guy both physically and, in his opinion, mentally. Anyway I tutted, reasonably quietly, but my friend had a momentarily lapse in judgement and shouted “urm excuse you!” Immediately the guy stops in his tracks, turns on his heels and says “you what?!” Shit. I immediately turn to my friend and tell him to keep walking, he agrees that he shouldn’t have said anything and too picks up the pace. Alas this does not put this charming individual off as we can hear the insults getting louder, he is in pursuit. I immediately dive into the closest pub and my friend stands his ground. And bravo to him, he is a musical theatre guy, predominantly, pretty and although fairly tall, I don’t think he would win this particular battle. I cower inside the pub but close enough so I can listen and if needs be shout fire!! Just a pointer here, I heard recently that you are more likely to receive help or some kind of reaction from passers-by if you shout fire than rape. Not that I expected my friend to be raped but I assumed it applied to most cries of assistance. Anyway the gentleman reaches my friend who I believe here is acting his butt off as there is no sign of what I later discovered was absolute fear. He says that he barged into his female friend and he found it rude and the guy replies, “she barged into me mate, I mean, does she think she’s famous or something?!”….. pause…. and then my friend replies “well actually, a little bit”… Before he is able to respond a bouncer appears (apparently wondering what the hell I am doing hiding in the corner like some kind of hobbit), and the confrontation abruptly comes to an end. This made me realise that often the best way to diffuse an argument is to tell the truth. I hate any sort of confrontation, especially in public, it can be so embarrassing. I hate watching it and am even more mortified to be involved in it. Often the insults become ridiculous with comebacks like “yeah well so are you”, or a classic that I was witness to. Girl number one says “oh go away, this is boring me” girl number two replies “you’re boring”, good one… I was once called a “coked up anorexic bitch” none of which were true I might add, I’ve always preferred lemonade to coke and food is pretty much my favourite thing. But when you take a step back and actually think about the ridiculousness of the actual situation – which granted when drunk is not easy – it seems pointless to continue it. The best example of this, which gave me an insight early on as to what I had to come, was on one of my first nights out. I was about 15 – how I managed to get into the club is beyond me I must have looked about 12 – and I was just bopping along to some tunage, minding my own business when a girl walks up to me and pushes me. Stumbling back I regain my composure and ask what’s going on. She says something about staring at her friend and “giving it all that”. I am partially deaf in one ear – got kicked in the ear drum whilst learning to swim as a kid, so I have no idea what she’s saying and ask her to repeat herself. The friend I have apparently been staring at then marches over and says, and I quote “you’d better stop cutting your eye at me bitch”…..?? Urm, bit confused, so I reply (bear in mind I was 15, at a fairly sweet and well-behaved girls school at the time) “I beg your pardon, cutting my what??” The girl bursts out laughing, shakes my hand and walks off. I still have no idea what happened but I honestly didn’t understand her comment, so instead of a come back I just told the truth and she was gone….Nothing seems to have changed much, except when they find out I’m an actress, it seems to get worse. “What think your something special do ya?” Not really I just like acting, what do you do?… I don’t usually get a response to that.

You mean I have to audition??!!

Last week ended up on an unexpected high. I had several auditions which all went really well, couldn’t have done better, and so I felt the parts were mine. I didn’t get any of them. Then on Thursday I received an email from a writer about a script he’d written which he was looking to film in March. It was a very detailed and exciting pitch. He already has an excellent DOP attached and an extremely experienced director. He knows of me through my HBO show and wanted to meet. Now, any work that is offered out right I am always dubious about. There always seems to be a catch, mainly, largely to do with my HBO role, nudity. I have pretty much decided against nudity from now on, unless it is absolutely essential to the script and they are willing to pay A LOT of wonga. I think I have earned that right. Also there are many newbie’s out there (this is the guys first script) who end up cutting corners and taking unnecessary risks, which I also want to avoid. So before I got carried away with it all I had my questions ready. Who was officially attached, what pre-production had been carried out already and what was left to do blah blah blah. When I arrive at the meeting, confident and prepared to grill him, I discover that not only am I NOT being offered the part outright, they are also seeing eight other girls. Fortunately, I did not give away the fact that I assumed the role was mine and managed to brush off this unexpected twist. But suddenly I found myself fighting for this role. I hadn’t thought for one minute it wasn’t mine so now all I can think about is not getting the part. It’s filming abroad in a country I have always wanted to go to, the production team attached are great and would be excellent to work with, I love the story and it’s for the lead. So I have gone from feeling slightly detached and hesitant at getting carried away, to falling in love with the job and desperately wanting it. Mmmm “you only want what you can’t have” springs to mind. I decided to not change my tactic however; I should still be sticking to my same requirements. He came to me after all and it should still be a matter of convincing me to do it. I know I can bring a lot to the film and would certainly do the part justice. So I remain slightly aloof. Asking questions and by no means saying I want the part. I am not sure if I had previously known that I was only being considered along with others that I would have played it this cool, but as I left the meeting I felt quite up beat about it. Usually when you are auditioning or meeting for a role you are selling yourself, showing or explaining why you should be given the role, but why not approach it the other way? Ok I’m not quite Hollywood status… yet… but I know what I can do so I no longer have to jump at every offer. Anyway it appears to have paid off, I will be meeting for a reading in a couple of weeks. It is unclear at this stage whether it’s just me or other girls as well but I am not going to give that any weight either way, I’m through the first round.

I would also like to address a question I was asked several weeks ago now, sorry about the delay, no excuses just forgot. This post reminded me of it. From a previous blog entitled Aren’t you that actress from, it was in reference to “fan enthusiasm” – and what is expected from you, the artist. I pick this up as I was contacted directly for this last job and not through my agent. Now I have a website where I can be contacted, there is no direct address or number so it’s still very much private but some of the “requests” I get are quite astounding. Working in this industry for around 15 years now (my first professional gig being in my early teens) the world of celebrity has certainly grown. I guess it seems a lot harder now to differentiate between a celebrity and an artist. All the horrendous “reality” programmes are not helping our cause, I feel strongly about the lack of credible drama on our screens today and frustrated by the amount of crap that’s shown instead. I should say at this point that I do love the X-Factor, it is my guilty pleasure and I know it completely goes against all I stand for but, for crying out loud, Simon Cowell is just so damn watch able!! Anyway, because many of these reality show contestants thrive on attention, they very much invite the public in, posing for paps, selling stories to papers etc etc.  So it becomes the case that the more you are gossiped about and in the media light, the more famous you become and the more work you get. Those who ignore fans, or not even ignore, but don’t throw themselves at them – much like your musical favourite Sia – suddenly become, arrogant, rude, ungrateful etc. It is extremely difficult to get the balance right and unfortunately it seems crucial. It’s not simply enough to be good at what you do but you need to be liked too. There are many out there who are quite frankly rubbish at everything, but the public love them.  I have not yet been in a situation when I have been face to face with any inappropriate behaviour or made to feel uncomfortable, but I have received mail from people which has been slightly awkward. Asking for dates, personal interviews, and some just ranting at me for not making myself “more available”…. In an ideal world our work would be the same as any other. You are praised when you do a good job and your personal life is nobody’s business but your own. But in the world of OK and Hello, WAG’s and Big Brother, I can’t see that happening any time soon. Perhaps one day I’ll have a more informed answer but right now I’m pretty much safe from intrusion.

Oh, so I should know you….

Well the inevitable happened, I received a no. It was on one audition that I had that I was fairly confident about. Not the main one but still a job I was keen on. The production team behind it were great so would have been a big opportunity. I decided I would tell the guy I snapped at last week, as a kind of peace-offering. I told him as soon as I heard anything, good or bad, I’d let him know and so I did. Five mins later he offered me a tea so … every cloud. Should hear on the other one this week but keeping silent about it, I’m hoping people may have forgotten. I have another one today and I haven’t told ANYONE so I am getting better. The weekend was eventful. I had a friend over to stay, he had an audition and as he doesn’t live in London I’m the best hotel around. We’re very reasonable and often throw in breakfast for free. Not sure how many more times this can happen however, before the very patient boyf starts to feel like it really is a hotel. I’m hoping soon, one day, he’ll come over when he doesn’t have an audition so I’ll have more weight to my argument! To be fair though he did bring cake, it just so happened that my boyfs piece ended up in my mouth too….

I met up with a close friend on Friday night who I haven’t seen for ages which was lovely. In fact I think the last time we spent any time together we were in New York. She is a casting assistant at a very prestigious theatre in London and one of her shows had transferred there so she went over to see how it was doing and took me along. It was great. We went back stage after for her to catch up with them all and me to say my congratulations. We left through the stage door and as we stepped out the paps were ready and we were blinded by the lights. They soon stopped when I heard one photographer shout “Stop it’s no one”… Well, that’s a little exaggerated, clearly we were SOMEONE just not THE one. I bet they didn’t save those shots, silly really, soon they’ll be worth loads…. Anyhoo, we met for dinner and we gossiped about everything and nothing, it was great. The next evening we went to a lovely little theatre further out in east London, as one of his friends was appearing in it. It was a great show and if this blog wasn’t anonymous I would be telling everyone about it. It really was a powerful piece, helped in large by the writing, the script was incredible, but the cast were also pretty fantastic. There were tears at the end, (although they were also a little bit for the wine I had to leave in the foyer as drinks weren’t allowed into the auditorium, tres annoying!). We hung around afterwards to say hi and congratulate her on a great performance. She seemed really nice and I enjoyed chatting to her, I wish I could say the same for the other girl who came to see her…. Wow, she really was in class of her own. Also an actress, and one with a massive chip on her shoulder. Conversation started as, funnily enough, my friend had seen her in a show last week. Well I say he’d seen her… she was talking about what she’d done (all certain actors ever do, yawn) and he said, god love him, “I saw that last week”… Oh well I was in it she said. Pause, nervous smile, and then a less than warm laugh from her. There was no real recovery from it, he had basically told her he’d seen the show not too long ago and did not recognise her from Adam. He did remark on her wearing a wig but I think the damage was done. So conversation changed to a recent awards ceremony she’d just been to. Yes, we did talk about her ALOT, and considering she wasn’t even in the show we’d just seen it was a little boring. It was for quite a successful TV programme she’d been in. They didn’t win. One of the others in the party asked her if nominees were told beforehand whether they’d won or not, and she said sometimes. So I asked, and I still don’t see how this could have been taken offensively, if she was told they hadn’t won, and she snapped back. “No of course not, why one earth would we have gone if we weren’t going to win”… That’s the spirit, yep, she was a treat! So we didn’t stay much longer, mainly because it became apparent we were in a mine field and also, I really fancied pizza.

When in Rome…. live there?

Well audition wise I’m on a role, the second one I had was a success as well. When I got the HBO gig I remember walking out of the recall audition, calling my dad and telling him I’d got the part. He said he wasn’t expecting them to tell me there and then and I told him they hadn’t, I just knew. This also was the case with the comedy series I did last year and the audition I had the other day for the feature film brought the same feeling. Now I know I do risk setting myself up for a fall and I really should know better by now but my instinct on this is very rarely wrong. Once again I have managed to picture myself there… I went in with another girl; both going for the same role and when one auditions for camera the other one sits behind and reads the other lines. I went first and nailed it! I had read that the character was confident but likeable, and the script was very witty. They have been auditioning for this for over a month and I managed to make the casting director laugh, I took this to be a good sign cos it’s hard to find something funny after watching it over and over for a month. Then the other girl stepped up…. and so my confidence rose. She was not good bless her, I hadn’t realised how young she was until she read, she obviously hadn’t taken note of the character breakdown as she came across as arrogant and her eyes were often glued to the script. The part we are going for is young but still… The casting director did ask me my age and when I told her the other girl said “whoa!”, alright calm down I thought. Then on the way out the young whipper snapper said “I didn’t realise it was set in Rome”… it’s not set in Rome.  So I asked her why she thought it was and she said “well it says it in the script, you know when they’re talking about the local culture and he says when in Rome”….yep, she was young.

Aren’t you that actress from….?

I arrived into work this morning and it would appear my desk has gone. I don’t mean literally, it’s still there, but there is someone else sitting at it. I have been informed that I am now “hot desking”, which basically means that I don’t have a particular desk; rather I sit wherever there is a space. So my carefree days of updating the blog, checking my website, reading heat, and generally surfing, have abruptly come to an end. Darn it! I am today cushioned between “Crane Neck” and “T.C”, I won’t explain those nicknames, you’re a clever lot I’m sure you’ll work them out. What it means is this won’t be as easy as it used to be. But I like a challenge so bring it on. The reason for this inconvenience is due to new members joining the team, which means more people asking about my career. One guy recognised me from the HBO show and seemed really disappointed in me for working here, so that’s nice, I do hope we get to work together more. Apart from that rather shocking start to the day it’s actually been quite pleasant. I arrived to find an email from a guy who I auditioned for nearly a year ago. He was a young director who previously had one television credit for a show I quite enjoyed. He was casting for another show and offered me the role. It was a great programme and went on to do rather well but I had been offered another job, which I had accepted, in between his audition and offer, so I had to turn it down. Anyway, he is now casting for a feature film and wants to get me in to try out for the lead. So I have forwarded on to my agent and she is on the case!

The weekend turned out quite fun considering my apprehension. The wanky networking party actually turned out rather enjoyable, and not too wanky at all. I must admit, pretty much as soon as we arrived I slowly moved away from my boyfriend as he chatted shop, avoiding eye contact with those concerned. I searched out and started conversations with, anyone who looked to be as uninterested in all that stuff as I was. So all in all a nice weekend. Now today is a day of actually doing some work, shudder, and hoping that one of those many auditions I had last week will turn into something more. Gotta go, Crane Neck’s having a field day and may actually dislocate something if he’s not careful, and TC is being such a C its driving me to distraction…. I think they may be on to us………

Santa Claus and chocolate

Well another disappointing week, not one audition, although I did receive a letter from Michael Grandage, which is pretty much like getting a Christmas card from Santa. And I mean the REAL Santa not his “helpers”. It was really nice and actually quite long. The short of it being that he liked what he saw (that could be read in the wrong manner, and I will clarify that he was referring to my acting ability) and he will consider me for all future roles I may be suited to. So that was nice. I had a busy social weekend. My friend from Australia, I believe I mentioned her early on, came back on Wednesday and we all celebrated her arrival on Friday. I got suitably merry, ended up crying and then arguing with my boyfriend so I believe that ticks all the boxes for a drunken Friday night. Saturday was a wash out and then on Sunday I went to ANOTHER wedding. Not any celebs this time but equally as fun. I managed to avoid the hangover by sipping water in between the wine and champers, clever girl. And now I am back at work, what a joy. Wow, two weeks without an audition really grates, I can feel my blood pressure rising and I am definitely not in the best of moods. I should think this has something to do with the rather highly fuelled alcohol weekend but I can definitely say if I was on an acting job now and not in the office I would be feeling considerably better! This actually brings me nicely into the questions that have been posed this week… Not planned at all.

 Firstly, the “mad” remark…. Now, I agree to a certain extent, all performers have to be slightly mental to do what we do. When you think about it we basically have a range of personalities we jump into, and also we constantly have to be thinking a step a head of the game. By this I mean, who we are talking to and what we are saying. For instance how I talk about jobs and casting directors here I probably wouldn’t say to just anyone… in fact probably no one. You seem to all think I am a certain actress, and I can’t say I mind, but whatever your conclusions are I will never reveal whether you are correct or not and that way I can pretty much get away with saying what I like… there is no solid proof tying me to anyone!! Mwah ha ha ha… yeah you’re right, bit mental. Not sure that actually addressed that comment but anyway, to the questions. Firstly I would like to point out that I am going through a bit of a dry patch at the moment so can’t help but think perhaps my answers may be slightly affected by my state of mind. But in all honesty I think your current situation will always reflect in your response. At the moment I would be happy with anything, within reason, I’ll let you use your common sense on that one. There is most definitely a pecking order when it comes to jobs. This order may vary from actor to actor but there is generally a consensus. For example, T.I.E (theatre in education) is looked upon as a starting point for actors. You wouldn’t really find an established actor going to schools unless they had a passion for teaching as well. Similarly student projects and fringe work would also be considered as a tool for experience and to build on your C.V. The main “bad boys” of work would be… West end/Broadway theatre, TV and film. What order those would go in would entirely depend on your preference. For me I would like a balance of all three… I think most actors would agree that although they would have one medium as their preference it’s always nice to have a variety. There is of course, as you put it, the mountain to climb. The order you stated is quite correct, and to be honest once you have achieved “success” you can then have more options available to you. Theatre can be very elitist and there are certain actors, in my opinion, who only find themselves treading the boards because the public knows them and therefore will bring with them a certain amount of bums to seats…..The question of advertisements is a tricky one. Yes maybe five years ago or less you wouldn’t find many “successful” or at least known actors doing ads, many would call this a sell out, but its a very different story now. Many of the big names are doing ads. This could be for many different factors, the first obviously being cash. I think we have all been hit by the economy crisis of late and the more you have the more you spend so even the wealthiest of you could always use some extra cash. More money and effort has also gone into advertising now so some adverts are actually quite entertaining and not so tacky, and so it seems more acceptable now for all actors to take on.

I would LOVE a commercial right now; they are such good money I can’t begin to tell you. As I have just finished a theatre job it would be nice now to perhaps do some filming… but as you can see there’s no real pickiness going on. As far as the Megan Fox reference goes, that is a whole other debate which I have tried to be more careful with over the years. It’s never too good to moan about other actors, there will always be some that have the right contacts, were in the right place, blah blah blah. But I think this is true in most careers and is something you just have to deal with. It does take hard work and dedication for most of us but who am I to judge anyone that makes it another way? To look at it from the other side, there are many out there who have had that extra hand and perhaps found their feet quicker than others who will now always have that stigma attached to them about how they made it. They in some respects now have to work even harder to achieve that acceptance or respect. Would I like a helping hand? Sure. But would I want to be known for that? No way! So there are no real easy routes. As for the stress of getting to the height of fame and being in the spotlight well I don’t have much sympathy there I have to say. That’s the one thing you have to accept and know when you start out. This is an industry that is now more superficial than it used to be and you are often judged more on your personal life than your professional one. There is a thin line between success and fame. But believe me if you want to stay out of the spotlight you can. An actors PR team are paid good money for a reason, and those shots which catch the celeb unaware are very rarely that!! If an actor or actress wants to be seen they will be and if they don’t they won’t. I wouldn’t believe all the expressions and body language you are presented with. Don’t forget they are actors and if they want you to believe a certain image they can make that happen. I haven’t articulated all that very well I realise but I hope you get the gist.

The dream for me? No more “day job”, regular mix of Theatre, Film and TV and to definitely not fake it. If I’m happy I would invite the paps in and if not, well, chocolate, the sofa and probably lots of wine.